Sunday, May 17, 2009

Scenes from an Italian Restaurant

I love that song...ok, I just love Billy Joel period. Today my parents and I took my grandma and great aunt out to lunch at the good ol' Olive Garden in celebration of AE's 91st birthday yesterday. Today was an all-around good day...everyone was one thought anyone was stealing, plotting, or trafficking drugs. Little victories in my family that get us through. Thankfully, there was really, really good background music today that kept making me smile. I swear I was born in the wrong decade/generation.

Scene #1

(middle of a conversation with Mom about a tv show - keep in mind I am classic ADD and can't usually stay focused on one topic in a normal conversation, much less one involving these two)

Misc. Redhead: You haven't watched it yet?

Mom: No, I just haven't gotten around to it this week.

Grandma: What was the name of the lady who bought Lydia's house?

Mom: What?

Grandma: You know...the one who had that fat little dog.

Misc Redhead: Oh yeah...Speedy. Her name was Jean something.

Mom (looking back to me): Okay, go ahead.

Misc. Redhead: What were we talking about again?

Mom: House.

Misc. Redhead: Oh yeah. I don't know what I was even saying about it. Wait. I know. "Clang clang clang went the trolley" is stuck in my head. I think that's all I was going to say.

Grandma (looking at me): I bought that mirror you have from her.

Misc. Redhead: Who?

Grandma: That lady who bought Lydia's house.

(and on and on it goes)

Frank: Tell you that you're marvelous, tell you that you're marvelous, too marvelous for words...

Scene #2

(The hostess and a manager are setting up a table for 6 - the hostess originally sets up 2 on each side and 2 on the ends. The manager moves the chairs so there are 3 on each side.)

Manager: It's always better to arrange them like this because it encourages face-to-face conversation for the guests.

In come the, dad, and 5 kids. I'm sure they're eternally thankful for the thoughtful layout of the chairs for face-to-face conversation comprised of crayons and menu/coloring pages folded over the kids' heads while they converse about politics and the state of the economy.

Dino: When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine, that's amore...

Scene #3

There's a cute elderly couple at the table next to us. They each have two glasses of wine with their lunch. He has red; she chooses a blush. I'd like that some day. Enjoying wine over Sunday lunch after church with the love of your life.

Mr. Buble: But remember this, every other kiss, that you'll ever give long as we both live...

Scene #4

Grandma: I think AE has a boyfriend.

AE: (just gives her a go-to-hell case you've ever wondered where I get my face expressions from)

Grandma (laughing): She roommate's boyfriend.

Mom: Oh really? You've been making at eyes at someone? (Mom's classic phrase when we tease AE about chasing men)

AE: (just gives a devilish grin and nods)

Dino: When we dance you have a way with me, stay with me, sway with me...

Scene #5

(Walking out of the restaurant - discussing the surprise get-together we're having for AE later today at the home)

Mom: If you could get there a little early and take care of getting AE ready, I'd really appreciate it.

Misc. Redhead: Of course...what time? What all do I need to do?

Mom: I hung two outfits on her closet door that she can choose from. If she chooses the dress, there are some thigh highs in the top drawer she needs to put on.

Misc. Redhead: Thigh highs? I didn't know it was going to be that kind of party! Wild Turkey too?

Mom: (didn't even notice my attempt at humor because she's in her planning zone) And I bought her some new lipstick, so help her with that too.

Misc. Redhead: So that's a no to the Wild Turkey?

(AE perks up at the mention of Wild Turkey...she has a "history" with the stuff that we tease her about relentlessly)

Frank: But why should I try to resist when, baby, I know so well, I´ve got you under my skin...

Scene #6

I run into my dad's long-time business acquaintance/friend. He's one of the kindest and cutest old men with the brightest sparkly blue eyes. When he sees me, he tells the hostess, "Excuse me while I go hug that pretty girl." How could your heart not melt? He's a former city manager for this (relatively) small town and started talking to me a while back about wanting me to ghost-write his memoirs. He has some really good dirt about all kinds of scandals, dirty deals, and underhanded dealings from back in his day. I hadn't heard from him in a while and had honestly forgotten about it.  

Mr. S: How ya been, girl? Hey, I don't want you to think I haven't been working on my stories. I have; I've just gotten busy and haven't 

called you recently.

Misc. Redhead: Oh, that's okay. Just start sending me stuff whenever you're ready. (thinking, holy crap I completely forgot about this...

is there a way to back out?)

Mr. S:  Well, I've been jotting down some of my stories and I've been using little tape recorders. Would that work for you? We can just keep 

swapping them back and forth when you're done with one, etc.

Misc. Redhead: (thinking...what the hell have I gotten myself into? - but of course I adore this man and could never tell him I have 

the chance to write a book! So against my sanity the words fall out of my mouth.) Whatever works easiest for you! Just give me a call!

Not really playing at the restaurant, but I thought this would be more fitting:

Ado Annie (from Oklahoma!): I'm just a girl who cain't say no...

Scene #7

Dad: Mom and I were going to go see The Soloist on Friday, but it wasn't out anymore. So, we went to the Slippery Minnow instead.

Those're my folks! 

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